Damn You, Potter!
by footballprincess
Summary: He was gone, killed because he wouldn't run, he had to fight. Tears rolled down her face, tears of frustration for her stubborn lover, tears of admiration for her heroic husband, tears of sadness for her dead soulmate. Through all her tears, she whispered, "Damn you, Potter." Oneshot. Lily x James over the years.


**Author's Note: Hey! So I kind of wrote this on a whim, but I hope you like it anyway!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

_FirstYear_

Minerva McGonagall could tell right away that Lily Evans was the type of student every teacher wishes to have-bright, eager to learn, and hardworking. On the first day of class, she had showed up precisely five minutes early with parchment and quills ready, sat in the front row, and paid attention throughout the lesson. She twirled a bit of hair thoughtfully around her fingers, and Minerva knew she would be one of her favorite students.

However, being a good student came at the expense of the ridicule of the not-so-good ones, namely Messrs. Potter, Black, and Lupin. They seemed to make it their personal mission to annoy the living daylights out of her every chance they got. Lily kept her head cool and ignored them as best she could, but she was only eleven, and a redhead besides. Her temper was bound to flare sometime.

The students had been told to read some pages out of their books and answer questions written on the board. Minerva was grading homework essays while the students worked. There was a little talking, but that was to be expected, as students checked their answers with one another.

Lily was doing conferring with Dorcas Meadowes about the fourth question, when something hit her in the back of the head. She pulled the ball of paper out of her hair and tossed it neatly into the dustbin. She and Dorcas rolled their eyes at each other, and went on with their work.

But another wad of paper had hit her, then another, and then another. She was starting to get annoyed.

"Is it that awful Potter and his friends?" Dorcas whispered. Lily nodded, and Dorcas turned around to glare at them on behalf of her friend. The nice one, Lupin, told his friend that perhaps they had gone far enough, but Potter and Black would have none of it.

A particularly large wad of paper came their way, and instead of hitting Lily, it knocked over her inkwell. Her face went bright red with anger as the black ink spilled all over her parchment.

"Damn you, Potter." She growled angrily under her breath.

_Second Year _

For the first time in ages, Minerva McGonagall actually liked Gryffindor's chances at the House Cup – Potter was an excellent chaser, and the beaters, Sirius Black and the youngest McKinnon girl were the best she'd seen in years. She was thankful for their skills on the quidditch pitch, but she was quite sick of their bravado in her classroom.

Lily heartily agreed, for Potter wouldn't stop pestering her to come watch him play in the next game. While some argued that he was entitled to brag about his abilities, neither Lily nor Minerva believed that any amount of skill excused an over-sized ego.

"Come on, Evans, you'll enjoy it, I promise. Quidditch is the best!" he wheedled one morning at breakfast. Lily sighed and looked at him intently.

"Listen to me very carefully, Potter. I do not like Quidditch, never have and never will. Now stop asking me to come to any of your games, because the answer is no." she said with as much dignity as she could muster after being asked the same infuriating question repeatedly.

"Aw, Evans, you're such a bore. Showing a little house spirit for once wouldn't kill you, you know." James said, stealing a piece of her toast.

"I never said it would kill me, Potter, I simply have better things to do." She said primly.

"You could see me play, Evans, even Marlene admits I'm good and she doesn't like me either." He argued, really wanting Lily to see his game.

"I don't care how good you or anyone else on that team is, I don't like Quidditch and I'm not going to your game." She said, finality in her voice.

"Oh, Evans, come on! One game!" he begged, grabbing her arm.

"If I've said it once I've said it at least a thousand sodding times, I'M NOT GOING!" she shouted, and whacked James in the face with her now-empty breakfast plate.

"Miss Evans! We do not shout in the Great Hall like that and we most certainly do not hit one another!" declared Professor Vector before Minerva could do anything. "Mr. Potter, are you quite all right?"

"She hit me!" he said indignantly. Professor Vector took this as a no, and immediately deducted ten points from Gryffindor.

"Damn you, Potter." Lily hissed as Black escorted Potter to the hospital wing.

_Third Year_

Most of the students were done with the assignment, and Minerva had told them to get ready for their test tomorrow. She knew that few people were actually studying, seeing as the day after the test was to be their first trip to Hogsmeade, but she didn't want to introduce a new topic before the test.

"Hey, Lily?" asked Marlene McKinnon, walking up to the redhead who was looking through the textbook with Alice and Dorcas.

"Yes, Marlene, what is it?" the girls shared a dorm, and were polite enough to each other, but they were too different to ever see eye-to-eye.

"Could you explain how to turn a pair of socks into a scarf? I haven't quite gotten the hang of it yet, and I thought I'd ask you, you always have good marks." Marlene asked. Lily looked at her suspiciously for a moment, but consented.

"Of course, Marlene, I'd be glad to help. Here, sit down, I'll walk you through it." Marlene sat on the bench next to Lily, and set a pair of socks on the table. "Now, you have to-"

"Evans!" called Potter, walking towards her. She groaned, and Marlene smiled sympathetically at her. "Want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

"No, I'll be too busy doing things I'd rather be doing, like hitting myself over the head with a brick and pulling out my eyeballs with toothpicks." Lily said tartly, and turned back to Marlene.

"McKinnon, tell her I'm not half bad." James pleaded.

"He's not half bad, Lily, he's completely awful. James, leave us alone, I intend to pass this test and I'm not going to if I hang around with you and Sirius."

"Right you are, Marlene. Now, see, you need to hold your wand like this, and-"

"Why won't you go with me, Evans?" Potter asked, covering the socks with his hands.

"Because you're a rude, spiteful, mean, egotistical prat, and I respect myself too much to hang around with the troublesome likes of you." She spat venomously. Minerva couldn't help but be extremely proud.

Hurt flashed in his hazel eyes. "No one talks to my friends like that, Evans." Warned Black from a few feet away, having witnessed the whole thing. He had one hand on his wand, and he looked ready to hex her seven ways to Sunday for hurting his best friend.

"Leave her alone, Sirius. Don't lay a hand on her." Potter said, his voice unreadable. Black growled, but didn't press the matter. "She insulted me, not you."

Lily had a moment to feel terrified before he muttered a spell that caused the socks to burst into flames. Marlene quickly put it out, but damage had been done. Marlene's eyebrows were singed, and Lily had small burn marks on her hands and cheeks. There was a charred black spot on the desk, and Lily knew she or Marlene would be blamed for it.

"Damn you, Potter!" she said, gingerly feeling the burns on her skin.

_Fourth Year_

Minerva was always surprised by Lily's friendship with Snape. They were so different; they had nothing in common but a shared childhood. He was secretive, ambitious, and unfeeling, she was open and warm and friendly. But they were friends nonetheless, since their first year.

Potter and his friends hated Snape. For Black and Lupin, it was just dislike, but Potter had always been a bit jealous of Snape's closeness with Lily. He made it his personal business to make Snape's life miserable.

"Sev!" Lily shouted. She was spending the warm Saturday outdoors with her friends, and they had run into Snape, who looked like he had seen better days.

"Sev, what happened?" Alice asked, concerned. She didn't really like the boy, but he was clearly in need of help.

"Marlene, go get Madame Pomfrey, you're the fastest." Lily ordered. Marlene nodded, and took off towards the castle.

"We need to find someone – oh, Professor McGonagall!" Lily called. "Professor, Sev has been hurt!" Minerva rushed over immediately.

"Mr. Snape, can you tell me what happened?" she asked calmly. Snape was sporting a split lip and several broken teeth, he very obviously couldn't.

"Marly went to get the nurse." Alice provided. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Stay here with him until she arrives, I expect he will feel better knowing someone is concerned for him. I don't think there is anything life-threatening going on here, and Poppy can fix the rest."

"All right, professor." Alice said. "Oh dear, he looks awful, doesn't he?"

"Sev, tell me what happened." Lily pleaded, taking his hand. Severus moved his mouth, but the sounds that came out weren't recognizable. "Tell me who did this to you."

"Si- J-J-Ja-" he started, but his mouth couldn't open far enough to speak properly. Lily, however, had heard all she needed to hear. Marlene came running with the nurse, but Lily's attention was focused on a group of boys further away, laughing and shoving each other.

"Damn you, Potter." She growled.

_Fifth Year_

Slytherin had never actually played a fair game in Quidditch, but since this one was the Cup quarter-final, there had been too many fouls for Madam Hooch to keep track of. She had been settling a rather violent dispute between McKinnon and Goyle, the Slytherin beater, when Lucius Malfoy had knocked Potter off his broom. Everyone had been watching the two beaters go after each other with their bats to even notice that Potter was falling until he hit the ground.

Minerva rushed onto the Pitch along with Madame Pomfrey and several other professors. Potter was unconscious, as was to be expected after a thirty foot free-fall, and his left arm stuck out at an odd angle. Blood was pouring from a cut above his brow. Minerva was, to say the least, very worried.

Sirius, as could be expected, marched up to Lucius Malfoy. "You lowdown, cheating, filthy cur!" he shouted, and Lucius looked rather scared. "When I am through with you, -"

He was interrupted by Lily, who had been forced to go by Alice and Dorcas. Her prefect badge glinting, she stood as tall as she could next to the glaring boys. "That will be enough, Sirius."

"But Evans, he- you see what he did! He made James fall off! Let me at least rearrange his face!" Sirius pleaded.

"Mr. Black, you will accompany Mr. Potter to the hospital wing. There will be no need for you to rearrange Mr. Malfoy's face," she said, much more confident than she felt.

"Lily, he-"

"Now, Black." She said, and Sirius realized the futility of arguing. Much more softly, she added, "If you fight him, you'll get kicked off the team. You promised Josh Wood you wouldn't get into any more fights." Sirius sighed and walked towards the castle.

Malfoy sneered at Lily. "I don't need a mudblood to defend me, thanks very much."

"Black had a promise to keep." She said evenly. "But I don't." and with that, she landed a solid punch to his nose. Malfoy held his face and shouted in pain, and Lily walked away rather triumphantly.

She had detention, of course, and she tried to argue.

"You should have thought of that Charms essay before you assaulted Mr. Malfoy." Said Binns. "I'm afraid you won't be able to turn it in." Lily groaned, that would put a black mark on her perfect record.

"Damn you, Potter." She said in the general direction of the hospital wing.

_Sixth Year_

"Miss Evans, why ever are you out here alone?" Minerva asked, surprised.

"Oh, is it past curfew?" Lily said. "I hadn't realized, professor, I'll head back to my dorm. I'm so sorry."

"No, dear, you have ten minutes left." Minerva said, pointing at the clock on the wall. "It's just unlike you, Lily. You haven't been paying attention in class, you haven't been eating or sleeping properly, and it shows. I wanted to make sure you're all right."

"I've been wondering that myself, professor. I don't understand what's going on."

"What exactly has been going on, dear?" asked Minerva. She had taken a liking to Lily, and thought of her as a granddaughter.

"Well, there's this boy." Minerva nodded for her to go on. "We've hated each other for the past five years, and with good reason, too. He was always a right git, and I was mean to him."

"Has that changed?" she asked, sitting down on the bench next to Lily.

"Yeah. He's less of a prat now, he's nicer to people he used to hex at every turn. He doesn't bother me as much, he does his schoolwork, more or less. He's almost- we're almost friends."

"Then what's the matter?"

"I don't understand it, professor! What gives? Why isn't he asking me out every ten seconds? Why isn't he hexing Slytherins for so much as sneezing too loud? Why is he turning in homework and taking notes?"

"Maybe he's growing up, dear." Minerva suggested. "And I know that may be hard to believe. But I truly think you should give him a chance. People change, Lily, and I know you can't deal with the whirlwind of everything being different. I know you think that every little thing that isn't the same is a problem. But sometimes, things fall apart so other things can fall together."

"I know, it's just so confusing. One day he was a bullying toerag, and the next he's almost a gentleman."

"Well, losing sleep won't help. I suggest you get some rest, lily." Minerva said, squeezing her shoulder as she walked back to her own quarters.

As she left, she heard Lily whisper, "Damn you, Potter."

_Seventh Year_

Lily and James had always walked the line that separated love from hate. It was somewhat of a tightrope, and the winds of circumstance blew them one way or the other. But over the course of one summer, there had been a hurricane, and they had fallen off the line and into love.

Remus would smile from behind his book and say he knew it, while Dorcas seemed to think Lily was being held against her will. Marlene dismissed it as both of them being crazy, and Alice would squeal and gush. Sirius would get annoyed whenever his best mate turned him down to spend time with his girlfriend, but they made each other so happy he could never stay upset.

They were Head Boy and Head Girl, they spent quite a lot of time with each other. Not all of this time was spent on strictly Head-related business. Of course, they would insist their long walks around the lake were simply rounds, and they went to Hogsmeade together only to make sure people followed rules. Between James's experience and Lily's brains, they never ran out of excuses.

Mostly, anyway. There was simply no way to explain or justify being half an hour late to McGonagall's transfiguration class. Especially not for James and Lily. Especially not when they were together. Especially not when they were aware they should get to class, but continued doing what they were doing anyway. Especially not when what they had been doing was snogging in a broom cupboard.

McGonagall's sensible shoes always made noise on the floor, and it was no different now as she walked to the storage room to get another quill. The noise should have been enough to alert them to her presence, but they were so oblivious they wouldn't have noticed a hippogriff barging around in the school.

"Miss Evans! Mr. Potter! What is the meaning of this?" she asked, aghast, as she threw the door open.

"Er- We, er, got carried away?" James tried weakly. Minerva was not impressed.

"Detention for a week, both of you, and twenty points from Gryffindor!"

"Twenty?" Lily squeaked. Gryffindor was already miserably behind.

"Each!" McGonagall challenged. "Back to class, both of you!"

"They're going to like that, the Heads taking forty points." James muttered after the teacher had left.

"Damn you, Potter." She said, shoving his chest half-heartedly.

_Final Year_

"I'm not leaving you, James! I love you!" Lily shouted. They had precious little time left, Voldemort was outside.

"It wasn't a question, Lily. Take Harry and go. I love you, too." James's eyes were wild as he shoved his wife towards the staircase. Her son wailed in her arms, and she ran upwards, her heart breaking because she knew she was leaving James to die.

She heard a cold voice shout 'Avada Kedavra,' and she heard James scream. James always had to be a hero, he always did. He had died so that his wife and baby might get away, without a second thought. He was gone, killed because he wouldn't run, he had to fight. Tears rolled down her face, tears of frustration for her stubborn lover, tears of admiration for her heroic husband, tears of sadness for her dead soulmate. Through all her tears, she whispered, "Damn you, Potter."


End file.
